The dinner party poo - this one’s a surprise for everyone. Best get it out of the way and carry on as if nothing happened. You’ll likely spray for love and country, out of sheer terror of being sprung. We call this considerate and a completely normal level of poo paranoia.
The protein poo - for the poo'er who likes to pick up heavy things and put them back down again. Go you 💪🏽 Unfortunately all the protein you've been smashing makes for stinky ass poo's. Use the spray 🙅🏼♀️💩🍑💨
The constipated poo - that freeloader needs to back on out. No one likes an over-stayer. Always carry a 10ml pocket spray, cos when that freeloader decides to pack-up and leave - you'll want to be prepared 🤜🏼🤛🏼
The post-party poo – or if you’re reading this in Australia, The Grog Bog. For this we have no guide. This is entirely up to the users discretion. We suggest thinking of the people you co-habit with and spray accordingly…
The Clayton's poo - the poo you have when you’re not having a poo. You know, you sat down and before you know it… POO! We get it, there was no time for a pre poo spray. All good, a few sprays afterwards, and she’ll be right. Leave the bathroom with confidence. Walk, don’t run.™
The period poo - soz fellas but it’s a thing. And we have the science to back us up. Ladies, 5 pre poo sprays and you’re away. Or, if you’re not feeling it - f*%k em, you’re bleeding, and if you say your shit don’t stink. It don’t stink 👊🏼
Side note; there is no such thing as a sneaky poo. You can have a sneaky snog, a sneaky beer, you can still get away with a sneaky ciggie… But there is no getting away with a sneaky poo #justsaying